Getting to Know Yourself

It's so ironic that we usually avoid the very thing that would help us build a strong foundation of confidence and self-esteem: spending time with ourselves.

How does that help anything?

Getting to know yourself can blast through any negative preconceptions you may be harboring. Remember, your self-image is usually based on the conclusions you formed from your past experiences.

You may hold a belief that you are not a good writer, or you’re not a “people person”, or that you don’t have any special skills, but is that really true? How do you know for sure?

Please don’t say, “Because I tried it once and I sucked at it.” Trying something once (or only a few times) doesn’t count.

The truth is, you can become good (or even great) at anything if you want it badly enough and you’re willing to put in the time and effort to get there.

Here’s the million dollar question: Do you really want to get “there”? Getting to know yourself helps you separate what YOU really want from what others expect of you.

You might think you want to be a great writer because your mother praised the short story you wrote in sixth grade. You craved her approval, so your desire to be a writer might be all wrapped up in the illusion of receiving praise and recognition.

You don’t want to write, you just want to be a “great writer.” If you constantly procrastinate on writing and can’t seem to push yourself to do it, you might want to question whether you really want to be a writer after all.

Perhaps your true passion lies elsewhere. That is just one example of the many ways we can deceive ourselves.

If you take time to get to know yourself – REALLY know yourself – you will discover things that were previously hidden (or denied because they didn’t match others’ expectations of you).

Here is the best and quickest way to get to know yourself: spend time alone as often as possible. Shut off the television and radio, block outside distractions, and simply allow yourself to BE.

If this suggestion sounds frightening or intimidating to you, it’s a sure sign that you are NOT in touch with your inner self. If you were, you’d know that there is nothing to fear about spending time with yourself – in fact you would be excited at the prospect of doing so!

As soon as possible, begin a new habit that can change your life in dramatic ways: begin spending some quiet, quality time with yourself each day. If you feel intimidated, start small with increments of just ten minutes or so. Sit quietly in a private place and let your thoughts flow naturally.

Think about yourself, who you are, what you feel passionate about, what you want out of life, the things you’ve accomplished, the things you want to accomplish, your relationships – whatever comes to mind.

The more you do this, the more connected you become to your inner self. You begin to tap into your inner dialogue, and a deeper understanding of yourself will surface. The changes you experience from this process might seem small at first, but they quickly gain momentum.

Another good exercise to get to know yourself is journaling. Get a lined, spiral bound notebook and start recording your thoughts during your quiet time alone. Don’t worry about spelling, grammar or context. If you understand your scribbles, that’s all that matters.

Write down your thoughts, feelings, struggles, fears and dreams. Draw pictures. Ask yourself questions, and answer them. Vent your frustrations and strengthen your resolve to do better. It doesn’t matter WHAT you write really, just that you connect with yourself genuinely and frequently.